Monday, May 8, 2017

Is It Permissible for Children to Build with Lego on Shabbat?

Is It Permissible for Children to Build with Lego on Shabbat?

The Rabbi Jacob S. Kassin Memorial Halacha Series
Authored by Rabbi Eli J. Mansour (5/9/2017)

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Description: Is It Permissible for Children to Build with Lego on Shabbat?

In the Halachot of Boneh, constructing on Shabbat, the Poskim discuss whether building with Lego constitutes a prohibited type of building. Both Hacham Ovadia (Hazon Ovadia Shabbat Vol.5, p. 292) and Hacham Bension (Or Lesion Vol 2, Ch. 42:5) rule that children under Bar Misva may play with Lego, because it is considered a game, not real building, even if the child plans to keep the structure for a long time. If there is no issue in building, then there is also no problem to take apart already built structures.

This is the technical Halacha, but, of course, one should try to engage his children in Torah study on Shabbat as much as possible. Moreover, this leniency is only for children. Both Hachamim hold that these Lego pieces will be Mukse for an adult over Bar Misva.

It is permissible for children under Bar Misva to build and take apart with Lego.

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Friday, January 16, 2015

180 Ways to Annoy People

180 Ways to Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce
that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your
"astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch
with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing
awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and
insist to others that you "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of
rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
complimentary mints by the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's
road maps.

22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination,
UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear
that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.

29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts
back in the tray.

30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a

31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being
first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that
people pronounce each "a."

34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see
if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed
is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

38. Sing along at the opera.

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"

41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their
answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper, 99 copies.

49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

51. Practice making fax and modem noises.

52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc."
them to your boss.

53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with

54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your

55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge
across the room.

56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"

59. Honk and wave to strangers.


61. type only in lowercase.

62. dont use any punctuation either

63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of
your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and

65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can,
over and over and over..

66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.

67. Drum on every available surface.

68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

69. Set alarms for random times.

70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public
consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."

71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor

72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with
the volume properly adjusted.

73. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.

74. Wear your pants backwards.

75. Begin all your sentences with "ohh la la!"

76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's
"Metal Machine Music."

77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.

78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

84. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until
physically restrained.

85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's

88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.

90. Drive half a block.

91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern

93. "Forget" the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it
was a "real hoot."

94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious
that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers'
brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers
theme song.

96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people
play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

97. Ask to "interface" with someone.

98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't

99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

101. Never make eye contact.

102. Never break eye contact.

103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it,
pronouncing the results.

104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal
Howard Cossell voice.

105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.

106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says.

107. As peole talk, smell their shoulders.

108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start
over. I wasn't paying attention."

109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"

110. Place your shoes on the table.

111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their

112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me,
but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."

113. Switch your neighbour's lawn furniture with someone else's.

114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do

115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.

116. Sample every flavour of ice cream and tell the clerk what you
don't like about each one.

117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it

118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still

119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.

120. Wear odd shoes.

121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.

122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.

123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.

124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.

125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.

126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just
told and extremely funny joke.

127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.

128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2D2.

129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter

130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people
want to hear it in binary, too.

131. Pretend you have gone comopletely deaf.

132. etirW sdrawkcab.

133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without
saying hello, and help yourself to their food.

134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.

135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.

136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the
neighbours ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come
round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to
turn it up!

137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.

138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.

139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who
has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of
Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda
be a natural."

140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.

141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a

142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.

143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.

144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.

145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.

146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United
States, then raise all taxes to 90%.

147. Down a can of Coke in one and then burp loudly.

148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.

149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."

150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is

151. Ride a unicycle to work.

152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows '95 that
aren't actually there.

153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know
you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the
Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.

154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.

155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house.

156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.

157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.

158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench
pedestrians with squirt guns.

159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.

161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently
until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing.
Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're
weird!" Leave the restaurant.

162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.

163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't

164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No
thanks, just browsing."

165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching
pair of fake eyeballs. After attaning these, record the theme song of
The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the
eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get
pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a
minute ago, officer!"

166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and
dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Place each one a mile apart on an
unlit highway.

167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged
and insist in a childish voice that you haven't recieved enough
chocolate sprinkles.

168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut.

169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbour's lawn.

170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the centre of
someone's anti-perspirant.

171. Throw an Oh Henry! in a public pool.

172. When at a party with an infant present, ask the parent for a
diaper. Prepare the diaper with Nutella, peanut butter, etc. Insert the
diaper into the garbage can. Later, reach into the garbage, pull out the
diaper, announce, "Hey, look what I found," and chow down!

173. At school, stick "presents" in people's backpacks or purses, such
as mud, rocks, sticks, and leaves.

174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your
local McDonald's.

175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.

176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.

177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.

178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many
people look.

179. At random times in a conversation, say "hi," "hello Sir, how are
you?" or "have a good day, thank you."

180. Forward stupid chain letters to as many people as you can.

Contributed by Nick Young

Remember: Be annoying whenever possible

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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for
Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the
Population Reference Bureau).At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children
per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is
at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get
back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
round the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept
for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78
miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting
bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650
miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves
at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at
best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set
(two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not
counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no
more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could
pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or
even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases
the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000
tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the
ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous
air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion
as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing
the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their
wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth
house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a
result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds,
would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound
Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would bepinned to the back of the
sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly reducing him to a smear
of goo.

V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas!

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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mother's Day Home Kitchen Deals